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Single Life & Vocation

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Q & A

Q. Could God be calling me to religious life, even though I really don't desire that?

A. I can still remember wondering this as a single woman. I can even remember thinking, 'Oh please God, don't tell me I'm called to be a nun'. However, at some point in my journey as a single woman I realised that God loved me so much, that He wanted the best for me and that if this was truly my call, it would be the place in which I was most fulfilled and the vocation that drew me ultimately closer to God.

Often our natural desires can indicate what we are ultimately called to. However, we would encourage you to be open and discern all vocational possibilities. Spend time with married people and families, chat to a trusted priest and spend time with those in religious life, and even consider visiting or having a live-in experience with a religious order. There is no pressure to rush to a commitment like this. Ask God to guide and lead you and to give you ultimate peace in the decision that you make.

Q. How do I know what God is calling me to? Marriage, priesthood, etc??

A. Discerning your life call or vocation can be really challenging at times! There can be a lot of pressure from people around you to make a decision in a particular direction. Ultimately, this is a decision that only you can make.

First and foremost we suggest going to God. Spend time in prayer. Ask God to show you and make it clear about what your vocation is. Ask Him to give you peace in whatever decision you make. Seek wisdom from a spiritual director or wise mentor in your life. Spend time with married people and families, and also with those living the single vocation and religious life. You can even possibly spend some time having a live-in experience with a religious order. 

Also know that it is normal to experience some confusion around this area and not to make a clear and final decision straight up. We know people who have been engaged to be married and realised this was not the right decision to make. We also know young men who have entered the seminary and have ended up leaving and later on getting married. Just like a life career, we don't often make the perfect decision first time around, and that's ok! You can have confidence that if you seek God's will and follow Him, He will ultimately lead you in the the right direction.

Q. I've been single for ages and can't help but think there must be something wrong with me...

 

A. It is easy and common to feel the way you do. There is an unhealthy portrayal of the need to be in a relationship in society and the media. The truth is that you don't have to be in a relationship. Being single is an amazing chance to grow, serve and live life to the full. Don't get me wrong, relationships and marriage are also great opportunities to become holier but so many people miss the blessing that single life is to themselves and the world around them. Besides, you don't want to be in a relationship that isn't right or is just a relationship to make you feel better about yourself. If there is someone better for you then that current relationship may be the very thing stopping you from being in a better place. Often when someone is single it is because they are strong enough to not just go with the crowd and mature enough to know they don't need to be in a relationship to be happy.

Links

www.vocationbrisbane.com

- A great, Brisbane-based website with awesome resources on vocation and discernment

www.catholicozvocations.org.au

- A national website dedicated to vocations and discernment

 

www.chastityproject.com

- A great, American based website with loads of resources related to vocations, single life and relationships

www.catholicmatch.com

- A Catholic, online dating site

God, what are you waiting for?

- A great blog with personal sharing on waiting for a spouse

Books

Catholic​​​

  • Inspired to Sacrifice 

    • Compiled by Beatrix Zureich​

    • Priests sharing their journeys to the priesthood

  • How to Find your Soulmate Without Losing your Soul

    • Jason and Christalina Evert​

  • Theology of the Body

    • Various authors, but Christopher West’s TOB audio is accessible for the average person

  • A Chosen Life - Religious Vocation for Women

 

Christian

  • Captivating

    • Stasi Eldredge

    • For Women

  • Wild at Heart

    • John Eldredge​

    • For Men

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